[9.20] chg: dev: Use release memory ordering when incrementing reference counter
requested to merge backport-ondrej/use-release-memory-ordering-for-reference-counting-9.20 into bind-9.20
As the relaxed memory ordering doesn't ensure any memory synchronization, it is possible that the increment will succeed even in the case when it should not - there is a race between atomic_fetch_sub(..., acq_rel) and atomic_fetch_add(..., relaxed). Only the result is consistent, but the previous value for both calls could be same when both calls are executed at the same time.
Backport of MR !9460 (merged)